The Perfect Pumpkin
by Lace Kyoko
Summary: "I will fight you to the death over the perfect pumpkin."


**I found a fun Halloween prompt on Tumblr and this one I couldn't resist. I'm feeling extra spoopy this Halloween season. Enjoy and have a happy Halloween!**

The pumpkin patch was a spectacular sight: the bright orange gourds of all sizes scattered among the yellow hay with beautiful willow trees in the background. There was a lake as well, and the field seemed to go on for miles. It was a pleasant visit to the farm, and Lon'qu and Gaius were happy to take Morgan to it.

The two uncles were approached by their friend Robin about it. Morgan wanted the perfect pumpkin, but the pumpkin patch opened the same night she would be working the graveyard shift at the diner. She asked her two friends if they could take him, as she considered them Morgan's honorary fathers. They agreed and here they were.

Morgan wandered around, searching. He had his two uncles search as well, telling them the criteria for the perfect pumpkin. Morgan was very specific in what he wanted.

First: it had to be the perfect shade of orange.

Second: it had to be round but not _too_ round.

Third: it had to have no blemishes or signs of rot.

Fourth: the stem had to be a good length. It wouldn't do if it were too short, but it would look odd if it were too long.

Fifth: it had to be big. Not absurdly big like the Great Pumpkin in that one Halloween special, but big enough that one could see it from the street.

Gaius thought they were on a wild goose hunt because every pumpkin he picked up just wouldn't do. Lon'qu would laugh as he grumbled, but reassured him that it wouldn't be too difficult. They could convince Morgan if they found one that fit most of the criteria, if not all.

Lon'qu had found it. The pumpkin reached the top of his knee, its rotund shape was ideal, the color was gorgeous, it seemed no bugs had devoured it, and the stem was a good length. He went to grab it when a woman had done the same. Their hands touched, and they looked at each other. Her hair was thick, black, and her bangs covered most of her face. She had icy blue eyes, and pale skin. She could have passed for a vampire, but Lon'qu felt the term witch would better suit her.

" _Excuse_ me, but I saw this pumpkin first," growled the woman. Already the hostilities were felt.

" _Excuse_ me, but I have been here too long to not take this pumpkin. It's all my nephew has talked about."

"I don't care. My daughters wanted the perfect pumpkin, and you, _little man_ , are not going to stop me from taking it." She tried pulling it to her but Lon'qu held strong.

"Weird. My nephew said the same thing, so I think I'll just be going." He took the pumpkin from her and went to walk away. Gaius saw him from a distance and waved, a small pumpkin in his hand. Morgan was saying it was cute, but not what he was looking for.

Lon'qu was about to wave back when the woman tackled him. He didn't even stumble, and his grip on the pumpkin was firm, but he was startled nonetheless.

"Are you _mad,_ woman?" He groused, amazed at how adamant this woman was.

"I will fight you to the death over the perfect pumpkin." Lon'qu felt sharp pains in his forearms as he saw the woman claw him with her sharp nails.

It was like being attacked by an oversized talking cat. He gritted his teeth and pulled away from her. She grabbed his leg and he went down, protecting the pumpkin.

She tried pulling it from him by the stem but he rolled away. Gaius was there in a flash and grabbed the pumpkin from him.

"Gaius…! Go! Get in the car and take Morgan and go! I'll handle this!"

"Not by yourself! Morgan!" The little boy ran to his uncle. "Take this pumpkin. Protect it with your life. Uncle Grumbles and I have business to attend to." He handed Morgan his keys and the little boy waddled off, barely able to hold the huge pumpkin.

The look on the woman's face was of conflicted anger. On one hand, she was furious that the pumpkin was no longer hers and she wanted to fight for it. On the other, the little boy had it now, and she didn't want to fight a child.

"That pumpkin was mine, and you know it," she spat.

Gaius raised his hands in a calming gesture. "Let's not be hasty with accusations. It's a pumpkin. There are plenty here. They just rot anyway. Just find one and go." A small crowd of different families had gathered around them. "Nothing to see here, folks. Grab your pumpkins and leave."

The crowd dispersed and the three adults were left there. Gaius helped Lon'qu up, looking at his arms. He was bleeding.

"You assaulted my husband over a pumpkin," Gaius noted. "I could sue you."

"He stole my pumpkin," she snubbed.

"You _assaulted_ my _husband_ over a _pumpkin_ ," Gaius repeated.

She didn't seem to care and shrugged. Another woman approached them, as well as two young girls.

"Tharja, what's going on…?" She looked at the two men and saw Lon'qu bleeding. "Oh no, not again!"

"He stole Noire and Nah's perfect pumpkin, Nowi. I did what I had to." She bit her lip. "And I lost."

"Tharja! It's just a pumpkin! There are lots here! Look! Noire and Nah already found theirs." The two girls, one tall with black bobbed hair and the other short with lime green hair in braids, held up twin pumpkins slightly smaller than the one Morgan got away with. They were smiling, but their eyes held concern for their mother.

Tharja's face was one of deep shame and regret. "I always take things a little too far…" She muttered. She turned to the two men. "Sorry we got in a tussle over a pumpkin." She approached Lon'qu. "It won't scar. I have a first aid kit in the car. I'll dress your wounds."

It was like a complete turnaround. Surely this wasn't the same woman that tried to kill Lon'qu _over a pumpkin?!_ But it was, and she led them to the family vehicle and disinfected Lon'qu's wounds. Gaius snorted when Lon'qu winced at the antiseptic spray.

When all was said and done, the two families laughed at what just occurred. Tharja and Nowi weren't parked too far away from Gaius and Lon'qu's vehicle, and so the two families bid farewell to each other, after exchanging numbers, and promises to have a Halloween dinner with their kids' pumpkins.

Gaius got in the driver seat, and Lon'qu was in the passenger's, grumbling as usual.

"Buck up, Grumbles. Things happen when people love their kids too much."

"Yes, but did you have to exchange numbers and invite them over for dinner?" Lon'qu rubbed his wounds, annoyed.

"Hey, they were actually pretty nice. And Nowi said she'd bake a casserole to make up for everything."

"A casserole won't fix the scars I'm sure to have."

Gaius sighed, amused. "It won't scar. There's a cream for that at home. We'll get you fixed up, honeypot."

Lon'qu blushed at the affectionate term. Gaius usually never said anything like that in front of Morgan. But he let it go, as Morgan wasn't even paying attention and he visibly relaxed.

"Better?"

"Better."

And they got home, ready to carve the perfect picture into their perfect pumpkin.


End file.
